TI didn’t FU

When you accomplish things and they have good outcomes, instead of the bad outcome you just knew your decision to do something had. To put it simply, you feel Amazing! It’s always hard to do the right thing when you assume the worst outcome, but when you were wrong about the outcome you get a surge feeling of accomplishment and joy. 

Today I talked to my spouse, that currently we are going threw a, hopefully temporary, separation about very serious matters. I was so scared he would end up hurting my feelings, cause my anxiety levels to skyrocket, and my depression to drown me. The subjects we talked about one after another didn’t cause problems. Me opening up to him caused us discussing things in a calm, collective, suportive manner. I’m so amazed and proud of both of us. 

Something went right today. Something I did finely went right. Something I’ve been dreading, I was scared to do, ended up with such a beautiful outcome. We aren’t together again. We are just healing ourselfs for now, but if this did anything it showed us that we can support eachother and maybe if we are lucky we still have a chance.

 I feel so accomplished and have so much energy. I feel alive, I feel beautiful again! I know this is  a small victory, but to me I feel like I just climbed Mount Everest. I also know I may not feel this all the time, still will deal with the grief and fear of loosing my love, and my depression and anxiety levels will not be like they are now. I know though that this is a moment of pure happiness for me and tonight I indulge in my small victory. 

Forgive me for sharing my success story with you. I feel like screaming it to the world!

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